Relationships

Healthy Relationships
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of respect. This means that both people can talk openly, honestly and freely to each other - without feeling pressure to act or think a certain way. People in healthy relationships give-and-take. They take turns making decisions, support each other and talk things through to make sure both people are heard.

Choosing Respect
Being an adolescent can be tough. Adolescence is a time when you learn how to make decisions about relationships with friends, family and girlfriends or boyfriends. What you learn now, about how to treat others, will affect relationships throughout your lifetime.

Healthy Relationships and Teenage Dating
Teen dating can be fun, adventurous and exciting for many teenagers, but not all. Some teenagers are involved in unhealthy relationships. Unhealthy relationships can lead to dating violence and abuse. Dating violence or dating abuse is defined as physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional violence within a dating relationship. According to a recent study published in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, one in 11 adolescents reports being a victim of physical dating abuse. Victims of dating abuse are not only at increased risk for injury, they are more likely to engage in binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fights and sexual activity. Youth desiring to remain abstinent can be coerced and forced into sexual behaviors by dating abuse leading to unintended pregnancy, sexually-transmitted disease and HIV infection. It is important for teenagers and their parents to recognize abuse in dating relationships.

All teenagers have the right to healthy relationships and positive teen dating experiences. The relationships developed during teen years will affect the quality of relationships later in life. According to the Choose Respect Initiative, a healthy and respectful relationship should include the following qualities:

• Mutual respect. Each person values who the other is and understands the other person’s boundaries.

• Trust. A healthy relationship is built around trust. Give each other the benefit of the doubt.

• Honesty. Always be honest. It builds trust and strengthens a relationship.

• Compromise. A relationship involves giving and taking. It should not become a power struggle.

• Individuality. Be yourself and don’t compromise who you are.

• Good Communication. Speak honestly and openly.

• Anger Control. Think before speaking, count to ten or take a deep breath.

• Problem Solving. Break down the problem into smaller parts to identify new solutions.

• Fighting Fair. Stick to the subject and avoid insulting each other.

• Understanding. Try to understand what the other person may be feeling.

• Self-Confidence. Having confidence in yourself can help build stronger relationships. You can listen to other’s opinions without feeling the need to conform.

• Being a Role Model. Model what respect means, this will inspire others to do the same.

The truth is relationships involve work. There will be good days and bad days. But some behaviors just don’t belong in a relationship and should not be tolerated. It is important to recognize the warning signs and understand the victim is not at fault. A relationship is not healthy if it includes being put down, yelled at, shoved, controlled, ignored, told what you can or cannot wear, made to feel afraid, or intentionally embarrassed in front of others by your girlfriend or boyfriend. None of these qualities involve respect. You deserve better.

To learn more about relationships and dating violence, log on to www.chooserespect.org.