Culture Wars – Media and Messages

How often do TV programs imply that non-marital sexual activity is the norm and has no or limited consequences? How often are TV programs with such messages directed primarily at teen audiences? How about movies? Are the big screen offerings of “Hollywood” better or worse at depicting sex without consequences than TV? Finally, is the music targeted at adolescents – whether rock, rap, hip hop, or country – teaching our young people the truth about relationships and sexual behavior? Can parents hope to overcome the influence of friends and the media in shaping the character of adolescents? It is important for parents to answer these questions and to talk about them with their children. This article provides some encouraging news about the importance and expectations of parents in the sexuality education of children.

Parental values and expectations for the behavior of children are, according to research, still the most important influences in the decisions teens make about sexual and other risky behaviors. In a survey conducted in 2003 by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 45 percent of teens aged 12-19 say parents are their greatest influence in decisions about sex. For teens 12-14, that percentage is 53 percent. Only 31 percent of teens overall (and 24 percent of younger teens) say their friends are most influential in their decisions about sex. Meanwhile, parents underestimate their power to guide their children in this important topic – 48 percent believe peers are most influential and only 32 percent think they have the most influence in their children’s decisions about sex.

A 1998 review of more than 100 research reports from the 1980s and 1990s was even more convincing of the importance of parental influence. This analysis of those multiple studies showed that close parent/child relationships are consistently related to a reduced risk of teen pregnancy. The review also showed that if parents favored sexual abstinence, there was a reduction in teen pregnancy risk. Parental supervision and monitoring were important in reducing unexpected pregnancies, as well. Perhaps most important – and probably relevant to the findings above – research shows that teens who feel they can talk to their parents openly about sex tend to wait longer to initiate this risky behavior, have fewer partners, and are more likely to believe parents are better sources of information on matters of sexuality than peers.

A more recent poll (2003) by Zogby International asked questions of parents about sexuality education – what the content should be relative to abstinence or comprehensive curricula. About 79 percent of parents indicated they believe teens should be taught not to engage in sexual activity until they are married or in an adult relationship leading to marriage. Parents also think sexuality education should teach that “individuals who are not sexually active until they are married have the best chances of marital stability and happiness" (around 68 percent). According to 91 percent of parents, schools should teach that “adolescents should be expected to abstain from sexual activity during high school years.”

Many parents feel that they are ill-equipped to teach their children about sex and therefore rely solely on schools, the media, society, and sheer happen-stance to fulfill that role. Much to their dismay, what their children learn is quite different from what the parents expect them to learn. Most often, the parent received sexuality education in the same manner. The reality is that children need direct conversation with their parents’ in common simple language and guidance with sexuality issues.

Parents are important. This may seem self-evident, but too many parents underestimate the importance of their role in the education of their children. Young people still look to parents as role models and want parents to take the initiative in sharing values and expectations about sex and love. Parents, what do you believe about teen sexual behavior? Have you shared your beliefs with your children? Are you working to maintain a close relationship with your teens, in spite of their youthful “attitudes?” That close relationship is perhaps the best predictor of whether teens will engage in risky behaviors.

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